I know that winning isn't everything yet I still would want to win. I've been through many criticism, be it rugby, soccer, any sports or anything really. It's demoralising to be honest but something inside me tells me to improve, to prove them wrong, to show who I am. I'm driven, thats what I am.
We lost in the end, 2-4 in that Ultimate Frisbee match. After much criticism from the previous matches, we were driven to prove anyone wrong but yet, sometimes, things don't go your way. But like what Russell Swan said in my previous posts, "I won my kind of million dollars"
I really miss the camaraderie that I had in all of my team activities, from sports and from the outdoor lifestyle. The fellowships and the friendships forged will always be etched in my mind.
And I really hope I do have a chance to do something like this again. I've taken up individual sports as well, like Archery, Air Rifle and single events in sports day and I just don't feel the same sense of achievement, even if I will win the gold. I don't know, maybe it's just me.
Opinions?
Monday, November 2, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
of camaraderie part 1
"Ok. We need to form up a frisbee team for the Sports Day which is next month. You, come. You, come. You, come. Ok we need, a few more. Before I choose you, volunteer yourself, help us represent for Sports Day."
Unknowingly, 8 of us got ourselves into the frisbee team with almost all of us with a little or no knowledge of how Ultimate Frisbee is actually played. But we had so called "incentives". Just play frisbee every Monday, Wednesday and Friday for a month without participating in any endurance runs which are usually planned. Some grumbled, some enthusiastic but we trained and trained.
Another 3 decided to join us a week later, due to the fact that most of their friends are in the team and no one's playing soccer with them. Then a week after, another 2 joined us, for the sake of passion and the willingness to help out and win for the Sports Day. Morale was a boost. Now we have two players who know how to play really well and we learnt alot from them.
Sport's Day came. Believe it or not, we lost to Team XYZ by 4-0 in the first match, which resulted us to have a second chance in the Loser's Pool. Demoralized but we knew that we needed to win the next one to continue in the tournament. We played our hearts out for the second match we win 3-1.
Third Match aka Semi-Finals was a tough opponent but we kept telling ourselves that we have trained so hard from scratch that nothing in this world would dampen our spirits and heart to win this. After much much drama, we won 3-2.
Finals await us. Opponent....... Team XYZ against the whole world looking at us from the Grand Stands. Previously our matches we played away from the main field but for the Finals, the main event of the day, were to be played in the main field.
We were nervous, we were exhausted from our previous matches but all in all, we were excited. Another chance at the opponent that trashed us. Another chance to prove ourselves worthy. Another chance to show that our trainings paid off. Another chance to show our brotherhood formed.
4mins to the game. We were 2-0 up.....
6mins left
.
.
.
.
Unknowingly, 8 of us got ourselves into the frisbee team with almost all of us with a little or no knowledge of how Ultimate Frisbee is actually played. But we had so called "incentives". Just play frisbee every Monday, Wednesday and Friday for a month without participating in any endurance runs which are usually planned. Some grumbled, some enthusiastic but we trained and trained.
Another 3 decided to join us a week later, due to the fact that most of their friends are in the team and no one's playing soccer with them. Then a week after, another 2 joined us, for the sake of passion and the willingness to help out and win for the Sports Day. Morale was a boost. Now we have two players who know how to play really well and we learnt alot from them.
Sport's Day came. Believe it or not, we lost to Team XYZ by 4-0 in the first match, which resulted us to have a second chance in the Loser's Pool. Demoralized but we knew that we needed to win the next one to continue in the tournament. We played our hearts out for the second match we win 3-1.
Third Match aka Semi-Finals was a tough opponent but we kept telling ourselves that we have trained so hard from scratch that nothing in this world would dampen our spirits and heart to win this. After much much drama, we won 3-2.
Finals await us. Opponent....... Team XYZ against the whole world looking at us from the Grand Stands. Previously our matches we played away from the main field but for the Finals, the main event of the day, were to be played in the main field.
We were nervous, we were exhausted from our previous matches but all in all, we were excited. Another chance at the opponent that trashed us. Another chance to prove ourselves worthy. Another chance to show that our trainings paid off. Another chance to show our brotherhood formed.
4mins to the game. We were 2-0 up.....
6mins left
.
.
.
.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
of better than to never try
I reached home and unpacked my stuffs, turned on the TV and it was showing Survivor:Samoa. Survivor really challenges one to the limit and if I had a chance to participate, oh hell yeah I would. But this episode had an incident that a man had fainted and had to be dropped out of the game.
I felt he was the best player in the game at that point of time and to be dropped out of an injury would be such a waste. He was the Leader of Galu, a tribe, and mentioned that everyday he would think about his team and their future reward/challenges, about their food and almost everything team related. He had only little food everyday yet he would walk for miles to get firewood. He was determined to win that million dollars but his body, of all things, failed him which was utterly demoralizing.
"Every minute that I was here was to win this game, every stick of wood was to win this game, every late hour keeping the fire going through the rain was to win this game, every minute the group huddled in the shelter in the rain while I am out fishing that was to win the game. I did everything in my power but I learnt my lesson, somethings just don't turn out for you."
"Whatever it is that you wanted to do, whatever that thing is that always has been nagging about in your head, go for it. Because to do it, to be in it and fail, it's better than to never try. And if I get those type of opportunities, that I won my kind of one million dollars"
-Russel Swan
I saw only 5 minutes of that show till it ended but the words said in that 5 minutes will always be remembered.
I felt he was the best player in the game at that point of time and to be dropped out of an injury would be such a waste. He was the Leader of Galu, a tribe, and mentioned that everyday he would think about his team and their future reward/challenges, about their food and almost everything team related. He had only little food everyday yet he would walk for miles to get firewood. He was determined to win that million dollars but his body, of all things, failed him which was utterly demoralizing.
"Every minute that I was here was to win this game, every stick of wood was to win this game, every late hour keeping the fire going through the rain was to win this game, every minute the group huddled in the shelter in the rain while I am out fishing that was to win the game. I did everything in my power but I learnt my lesson, somethings just don't turn out for you."
"Whatever it is that you wanted to do, whatever that thing is that always has been nagging about in your head, go for it. Because to do it, to be in it and fail, it's better than to never try. And if I get those type of opportunities, that I won my kind of one million dollars"
-Russel Swan
I saw only 5 minutes of that show till it ended but the words said in that 5 minutes will always be remembered.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
of a return from hiatus
I remember back when i was Secondary Three when I was arguing with my mum in the middle of the night on why I could not chill out with my friends, why I am always bounded with curfews, why do I always have to stay home and not go out and comparing with some of my friends that could enjoy so much freedom at that point of time. All in all, I could only remember one thing that she said "You will thank me for bringing you up when you grow older" and I really didn't believe I would say that.
6 years now, I haven't tell her this, nor I plan to. I don't know how to say this now, as I'm typing this, I'm trying to find the words to say what I feel. To make it really simple...
Thank you, mum.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I have always wanted to start blogging again but I just could not find the right time. Right time you may ask? For me, it's all about the the feeling, the urge and the anxiety that needs to be shared. These past four months had been a blast.
From my very own 21st birthday, from Commissioned as a Officer, posted to Maju Camp and reposted to Pasir Laba Camp, meeting many new people of all ages, celebrating friends' birthdays that I watched them grow since they were teenagers and getting thrown into situations that you have no knowledge or background in, just to name a few. And it all boils down to one value that I have learned from these four months.
The ability to adapt.
I don't know about the readers who are reading this but I feel that the Army has changed me. Really, if you feel so, tell me. People in this world are very selfish in terms of positive criticism or praises, don't let them be you. These are the things that make one grow or feel a sense of achievement but still, we are all selfish. I admit, I'm selfish but I'm learning to give praises and comments on the go, of course, trying to put it in a good manner.
.
.
.
.
And I'm tired. I need a getaway for a few days. 9 days of leave and I'm thinking to go on a holiday with that or stay home and sleep. Heh.
What about now?
6 years now, I haven't tell her this, nor I plan to. I don't know how to say this now, as I'm typing this, I'm trying to find the words to say what I feel. To make it really simple...
Thank you, mum.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I have always wanted to start blogging again but I just could not find the right time. Right time you may ask? For me, it's all about the the feeling, the urge and the anxiety that needs to be shared. These past four months had been a blast.
From my very own 21st birthday, from Commissioned as a Officer, posted to Maju Camp and reposted to Pasir Laba Camp, meeting many new people of all ages, celebrating friends' birthdays that I watched them grow since they were teenagers and getting thrown into situations that you have no knowledge or background in, just to name a few. And it all boils down to one value that I have learned from these four months.
The ability to adapt.
I don't know about the readers who are reading this but I feel that the Army has changed me. Really, if you feel so, tell me. People in this world are very selfish in terms of positive criticism or praises, don't let them be you. These are the things that make one grow or feel a sense of achievement but still, we are all selfish. I admit, I'm selfish but I'm learning to give praises and comments on the go, of course, trying to put it in a good manner.
.
.
.
.
And I'm tired. I need a getaway for a few days. 9 days of leave and I'm thinking to go on a holiday with that or stay home and sleep. Heh.
What about now?
Saturday, May 16, 2009
of living life the right way
life. its so goddamn political but actually, its pretty simple. PEOPLE make it complicated. thats why i decided to keep things simple from now on.
i have a recent colleague, who has been so lazy these few months and now he is an appointment holder, he expects us to do what he will reluctant to do if he is not an appointment holder. i mean, why oh why do u expect us to do it when you, in the first place, wont do it if ppl ask u to? so i decided to play a little bit of payback/revenge/being a bastard. i rejected what he asked me to do on purpose, but i decided to help out the guy who got arrowed on the SAME job instead.
i wanted him to feel the pain. i wanted him to feel the agony of every appointment holder that has been calling out for volunteers. i wanted him to feel it.
and then i realised, no fiq, this isnt the way. another colleague of mine, who knows about these situations, told me to stay neutral. we all should live life the right way by not taking anyone's side and just be yourself. we should treat people the same way you want them to treat you.
he got me thinking. and im pretty sure some of you will be thinking of the above sentence.
.
.
.
.
heh.
i just had a recent presentation. it was to assess our presentation skills as an officer. so yeah. we could talk about anything in the world. took me awhile to get a subject to talk on and i decided to talk about computers.
what? computers? boring topic? geek sia? heh. what i learned is that the topic does not matter. the presenter MATTERS alot. if the presenter can arouse the audience in his topic, then he is successful.
of course, we were given critiques for our presentations. and i must say, i kinda improve alot of my presentation skills. i remember during my poly days when i would fear presentations, standing infront of the class and talk nonstop with the powerpoint slides behind me. i would stutter, i would read from the slides, i would have alot of fillers in my sentences, alot of pauses etc. my colleagues told me i did an excellent job during my presentation altho there were still areas of improvement.
i pretty sure that some of the readers here are afraid of presentation but really, it takes practice and dont be shy to rehearse by looking at the mirror. confidence. confidence. confidence. i cannot stress enough on confidence. dont let the fear control you. dont say that youre shy. because this is life.
and life is about taking chances. if you are shy, if you aint confident, then u aint going nowhere. if u dont try, you will never know.
somehow, just somehow, on the 15th of May, i woke up with the feeling that im a different person. different as in, i know that i have changed for the better. =)
i have a recent colleague, who has been so lazy these few months and now he is an appointment holder, he expects us to do what he will reluctant to do if he is not an appointment holder. i mean, why oh why do u expect us to do it when you, in the first place, wont do it if ppl ask u to? so i decided to play a little bit of payback/revenge/being a bastard. i rejected what he asked me to do on purpose, but i decided to help out the guy who got arrowed on the SAME job instead.
i wanted him to feel the pain. i wanted him to feel the agony of every appointment holder that has been calling out for volunteers. i wanted him to feel it.
and then i realised, no fiq, this isnt the way. another colleague of mine, who knows about these situations, told me to stay neutral. we all should live life the right way by not taking anyone's side and just be yourself. we should treat people the same way you want them to treat you.
he got me thinking. and im pretty sure some of you will be thinking of the above sentence.
.
.
.
.
heh.
i just had a recent presentation. it was to assess our presentation skills as an officer. so yeah. we could talk about anything in the world. took me awhile to get a subject to talk on and i decided to talk about computers.
what? computers? boring topic? geek sia? heh. what i learned is that the topic does not matter. the presenter MATTERS alot. if the presenter can arouse the audience in his topic, then he is successful.
of course, we were given critiques for our presentations. and i must say, i kinda improve alot of my presentation skills. i remember during my poly days when i would fear presentations, standing infront of the class and talk nonstop with the powerpoint slides behind me. i would stutter, i would read from the slides, i would have alot of fillers in my sentences, alot of pauses etc. my colleagues told me i did an excellent job during my presentation altho there were still areas of improvement.
i pretty sure that some of the readers here are afraid of presentation but really, it takes practice and dont be shy to rehearse by looking at the mirror. confidence. confidence. confidence. i cannot stress enough on confidence. dont let the fear control you. dont say that youre shy. because this is life.
and life is about taking chances. if you are shy, if you aint confident, then u aint going nowhere. if u dont try, you will never know.
somehow, just somehow, on the 15th of May, i woke up with the feeling that im a different person. different as in, i know that i have changed for the better. =)
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
of life and everything else.
100th post.
20/04/09.
Life. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. you cant have everything you want even though you work so hard for it. This is life and I have learnt to accept it. I teared infront of everyone when i knew that i would be put out of course from Jungle Confidence Cource (JCC). Ex. Nomad pushed us so hard that falling out halfway thru JCC is just like stabbing me in the heart. yes, it was a stupid and careless mistake i must admit but accidents happen and lesson learnt.
Life. There are many ups and downs. Just exactly like Ex. Nomad. What goes up, must come down. Ultimately, the experience matter the most and if not, the destination.
Right now, two Out-of-Course(OOC) from OCS infront of me, playing squash happily and smiling. They must know how i feel right now but i would say their situation was much worse than mine. They got over it because there's more to life.
Life. There's really more to it than JCC. Even tho Ex.Nomad was the one and only exercise I've been through, it was definitely the most memorable experience in brunei. Even tho it was just 3 days, i have learnt alot, during and after. the jungle can never ever be underestimated.
Memories of that moment keep going thru my mind. I thought to myself, why did i do that? why didnt i just do it a different way? why should i even do it in the first place? many different questions were asked but i have only one answer for it. That this is life and shit happens and it is how we grow from this and mould to be a better person.
the wound is still bleeding. yes, the real wound on my shin and the wound in my heart. its time to get over it. the JCC badge wont make me a better officer. IT IS JUST A BADGE. importantly, it is the person donning the uniform and the rank that matters.
'For one to survive, one must die.' the Survivor's Creed.
I get to live to fight another day.
i can still feel the pinch in my heart sometimes when ppl talk about JCC. i mean, i missed almost half of the experience. i really wanted to go thru this JCC and get the badge. and then i realise, it doesnt matter. i got friends telling me i can manage thru JCC fine, telling me that i am more than capable. its even sadder when u know some guys are just going thru motion and think they are "Jungle Confident".
its good to know too, that i have many people by my side. and that u can see the true friends in the platoon. and i can see that JCC really made my friends more appreciative of what they have. and it also showed many bastards out there.
and u guys out there reading this. remember, dont be too disheartened if you lose in life. its how u pick up yourself after that.
ahh. life. it should be enjoyed. =D
20/04/09.
Life. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. you cant have everything you want even though you work so hard for it. This is life and I have learnt to accept it. I teared infront of everyone when i knew that i would be put out of course from Jungle Confidence Cource (JCC). Ex. Nomad pushed us so hard that falling out halfway thru JCC is just like stabbing me in the heart. yes, it was a stupid and careless mistake i must admit but accidents happen and lesson learnt.
Life. There are many ups and downs. Just exactly like Ex. Nomad. What goes up, must come down. Ultimately, the experience matter the most and if not, the destination.
Right now, two Out-of-Course(OOC) from OCS infront of me, playing squash happily and smiling. They must know how i feel right now but i would say their situation was much worse than mine. They got over it because there's more to life.
Life. There's really more to it than JCC. Even tho Ex.Nomad was the one and only exercise I've been through, it was definitely the most memorable experience in brunei. Even tho it was just 3 days, i have learnt alot, during and after. the jungle can never ever be underestimated.
Memories of that moment keep going thru my mind. I thought to myself, why did i do that? why didnt i just do it a different way? why should i even do it in the first place? many different questions were asked but i have only one answer for it. That this is life and shit happens and it is how we grow from this and mould to be a better person.
the wound is still bleeding. yes, the real wound on my shin and the wound in my heart. its time to get over it. the JCC badge wont make me a better officer. IT IS JUST A BADGE. importantly, it is the person donning the uniform and the rank that matters.
'For one to survive, one must die.' the Survivor's Creed.
I get to live to fight another day.
i can still feel the pinch in my heart sometimes when ppl talk about JCC. i mean, i missed almost half of the experience. i really wanted to go thru this JCC and get the badge. and then i realise, it doesnt matter. i got friends telling me i can manage thru JCC fine, telling me that i am more than capable. its even sadder when u know some guys are just going thru motion and think they are "Jungle Confident".
its good to know too, that i have many people by my side. and that u can see the true friends in the platoon. and i can see that JCC really made my friends more appreciative of what they have. and it also showed many bastards out there.
and u guys out there reading this. remember, dont be too disheartened if you lose in life. its how u pick up yourself after that.
ahh. life. it should be enjoyed. =D
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
of being away in the jungle
always keep your mind sharp syafiq.
always.
21days again.
10days to test my own strength and mentality.
nothing's never easy in this world.
for i will get that Jungle Confidence Course(JCC) Badge after that 10days.
i will. and i will work hard for it.
take care while im gone, yet again. =)
always.
21days again.
10days to test my own strength and mentality.
nothing's never easy in this world.
for i will get that Jungle Confidence Course(JCC) Badge after that 10days.
i will. and i will work hard for it.
take care while im gone, yet again. =)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
